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Joined: Apr 2012 Gender: Male  Posts: 46 Karma: 0 |  | Griffin District 11(Finished) « Thread Started on Apr 16, 2012, 1:32am » | |
Name: Griffin Keen Age: 16 Gender: Male District/Area: District 11 Appearance: -----![[image] [image]](http://cdn.c.photoshelter.com/img-get/I0000_JM3NkurqWg/t/200/I0000_JM3NkurqWg.jpg) Generally, one would say Griffin looked average. A bit taller than most 16 year olds, at 5'11'' and weighing about 160 pounds. His arms being more toned than the rest of his body, you would easily make out each individual muscle in them. Medium sized pectorals and a four pack. He wasn't anything special, until you saw him run. He is the fastest sprinter in his district. Rumored to be the fastest in all, but no one can know for sure. He can lift about 70lbs with one arm, so he isn't too weak, but still not the strongest.
Now, onto the aesthetic appearance; His skin color is brown. Well past the color of tanned Caucasian, but not exactly being dark. More of a slightly darker Hispanic. His caramel skin comes from his mixed heritage as his dad is African American and his mom is Caucasian. His hair is black and he usually keeps it mid length, letting some of the curls show, but not so much for it to get out of control. Most of his friends always comment on liking his hair, it tended to be naturally soft. His eyes are hazel with a few streaks of green placed randomly throughout. They are usually the first thing people say they notice about him, because they stick out so much.
From being quite an active child when he was young, he has many scars. More so on his legs than arms, but the more noticeable ones are on the latter. A large burn on his left forearm from an iron and a blackened scar than runs from his bicep to his shoulder from falling and sliding down a hill, peeling off the skin. One more scar breaks his hairline, going from his forehead to about a quarter of the way to the top of his head. Personality: His personality tends to put him in both the "group floater" and "loner" groups. Most would say that he's awkward. He doesn't talk much, only when he feels it's necessary. He likes to mostly make observations when near conversations. Usually tending to be sarcastic or playing the role of the devil's advocate. Even sometimes just to blatantly correct someone.
Girls with him are usually 50/50. Some find him charming, some find him annoying or awkward. He finds discomfort in rejection, which happens more than he'd like. It makes him even more cautious when openly confronting a girl. He tries to avoid it. Not that he doesn't want a relationship, more so for the fear of being rejected. But, from the girls perspective he is told to be very attractive and initially charming or mysterious. Past that, some like him more or less. Depending on her personality. However, underneath it all, he actually is a good leader. He works well when it comes to crunch time and quick to take initiative. {His hidden talent} History: He is an orphan now. Both parents died around the age of 10. Dad from infection, mom from a broken heart. He has recovered by now and is stronger from it. The majority of his physical ability is natural, but he likes to keep up a small training regiment and his job helps with it as well. Growing up was tough at first, but he found strength and comfort from within himself. Letting out any anger through training instead of hate or rage.
There weren't many family members there for him, hoping he would get his own foothold and grow. Mainly all he remembers are only friends, not family, that helped him along. He doesn't talk much to his family anyway, they don't have, or ever had, much of an impact on his life so they might as well not exist right? The only stable relationship he was in, ended on the grounds of his other being reaped and dieing in the games. That occurrence also helped him gain the want to train even more rigorously. He hasn't had much of an impact in his community. The other orphans he had came to know usually died, so he was looked upon as having a stronger will. No one usually likes to initiate conversation or friendliness, because they don't know him and think he is unstable. He is most known for the fact that he is the fastest runner in D11 and he is one of the very few orphans to make it to such an age in this district. Codeword: odair Comments/Other: This is my first character. I joined like 2 hours ago haha. So please, any advice will be greatly appreciated. I am not new to rping. I think this is my 4th or 5th year.
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Joined: Jan 2009 Gender: Female  Posts: 4,226 Location: Jake Abel Karma: 166 |  | Re: Griffin District 11 « Reply #1 on Apr 16, 2012, 1:51am » | |
Okay, so first off, 93% muscle is WAY too much. Might want to remove that bit of information and stick with the good old description of his strength and such. Also, the minimum is 3 paragraphs each for personality and history, so could you add some more information? Post here when you're done so he can be reviewed again!
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brandonious Seam Resident
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Joined: Apr 2012 Gender: Male  Posts: 46 Karma: 0 |  | Re: Griffin District 11 « Reply #2 on Apr 16, 2012, 2:00am » | |
Personality has 17 sentences and now history has 15.  Muscle percentage is now 84. I was just taking into account that he doesn't weigh much and people in D11 tend to be malnourished anyway, that's why it was so high earlier.
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Joined: Jan 2009 Gender: Female  Posts: 4,226 Location: Jake Abel Karma: 166 |  | Re: Griffin District 11 « Reply #3 on Apr 16, 2012, 2:16am » | |
Rid this of the percentages. For one, when a person starves, the muscle is the first thing to go, and muscle weighs more than fat. Your logic is a little flawed. And I really just don't like the percentage thing, mostly because I've never seen anyone talk about it like that, let alone do I have a clue how anyone in District Eleven would measure it. Kick out the percentage, and this should be better. Post here when you're done!
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brandonious Seam Resident
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Joined: Apr 2012 Gender: Male  Posts: 46 Karma: 0 |  | Re: Griffin District 11 « Reply #4 on Apr 16, 2012, 2:22am » | |
Ok. Anything else?
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Joined: Jan 2009 Gender: Female  Posts: 4,226 Location: Jake Abel Karma: 166 |  | Re: Griffin District 11 « Reply #5 on Apr 16, 2012, 2:25am » | |
Accepted!
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