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Joined: Mar 2012 Gender: Female  Posts: 12 Karma: 0 |  | Zoe Dust (District 12) « Thread Started on Mar 28, 2012, 12:32pm » | |
Name: Zoe (Zo) Dust Age: 13 Gender: Female District/Area: District 12 Appearance: Zoe is a girl who is tall for her age and is skinny because she lives in the seam and she has pale skin. She has hazel eyes unlike most people in the seam. She gets her looks from her father unlike her mother in which she bears no resemblance. Her little sister looks like their mom with Red hair and blue eyes.
She has brown, straight hair that goes to her shoulders but she wears it mostly in a ponytail. She is not the fanciest of dressers and she wears pants and loose fittings tops. Some people get her confused with a boy because of her boyish fashion. She wears NO makeup what-so-ever because 1. they can't afford it and 2. She hates looking like a girly girl. She has a scar on her leg from slinking her knee on the ground outside her house. Personality: Zoe is the girl who would be friends with everyone. She would only resort to violence as a last resort. She is kind to everyone including people who she really hates. She also can work in groups or alone and she is focused on getting the task done. She is also a really fast runner and is very strong emotionally, and physically. She also helps anybody as much as she can even if the situation is deadly.
Some traits that Zoe exhibits are kindness, resourcefulness, courage, trustworthy, and loving. Her kindness has always been with her even from the time that she was born. Her resourcefulness comes from not having enough food to eat and she is satisfied with whatever she has.
Some of her flaws though is the fact that Zoe can sometimes trust people too much that they blindside her. She also has a fear of death from her dad and mom dying when she was 5. Sometimes, this fear could get the best of her and she would have nervous breakdowns at her house. History: Zoe was born on May 30. Zoe has 1 little sister and no parents. Her dad died when she was only 5 in a mine accident and her mother then committed suicide. At the age of 5, Zoe had to become the parent in the household. Zoe takes care of her sister, Red by making sure that there is food on the table even sacrificing her own food for her.
Zoe goes to school everyday with her little sister Red and after school, they go home where Zoe goes to the hob to trade for some food for her family. When ever Red gets scared or upset, Zoe loves to sing to her and at least try to cheer her up. She mostly does this whenever Red thinks about their father and mother.
When Zoe was 8, she found a piece of ribbon in the ground, which she gave to Red as a birthday present. When Zoe turned twelve, she went and signed up for tesserae knowing she had more chances for being reaped for the hunger games but she took that chance putting her sister before herself. Red just turned 12 but I am never letting her sign up for tesserae because I don't want her to get reaped and die. Codeword: ODAIR Comments/Other:
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Joined: May 2010 Gender: Female  Posts: 1,181 Karma: 33 |  | Re: Zoe Dust (District 12) « Reply #1 on Mar 28, 2012, 2:20pm » | |
Hi there,
This falls short on our required length. It 'appears' to have the right number of paragraphs but a paragraph is a minimum of 5 sentences. 1 sentences does not count as a paragraph. I need you to add a bit to each section. Include appearance flaws, strengths and weaknesses in personality, and then her whole life story for history. Please use as much detail as possible and make sure you give her unique details that makes her an individual.
~gxk
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zony11530 Seam Resident
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Joined: Mar 2012 Gender: Female  Posts: 12 Karma: 0 |  | Re: Zoe Dust (District 12) « Reply #2 on Mar 28, 2012, 3:38pm » | |
fixed it
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Joined: May 2011 Gender: Female  Posts: 3,194 Karma: 75 |  | Re: Zoe Dust (District 12) « Reply #3 on Mar 29, 2012, 2:10pm » | |
Hi there!
So she still needs an appearance flaw ^^ If you haven't have an FC yet, I highly recommend finding one as this will make discovering a flaw easier!
Two, we don't work on a traditional calendar here, so 1998 is irrelevant. You might give a specific Games year (subtract from 60), or just ignore it all together, since we know her age.
Also I'd like to see the history expanded and made more unique. Right now it is very Katniss, from the depressed mother, to the little sister, to the goat. How might you make this Zoe's story, and not Katniss'?
Post a reply back when you've made the changes ^^
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zony11530 Seam Resident
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Joined: Mar 2012 Gender: Female  Posts: 12 Karma: 0 |  | Re: Zoe Dust (District 12) « Reply #4 on Apr 2, 2012, 3:07pm » | |
fixed it
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zony11530 Seam Resident
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Joined: Mar 2012 Gender: Female  Posts: 12 Karma: 0 |  | Re: Zoe Dust (District 12) « Reply #5 on Apr 2, 2012, 10:01pm » | |
Bump
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Joined: Mar 2012 Gender: Female  Posts: 12 Karma: 0 |  | Re: Zoe Dust (District 12) « Reply #6 on Apr 3, 2012, 4:12pm » | |
bump
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Joined: Mar 2012 Gender: Female  Posts: 12 Karma: 0 |  | Re: Zoe Dust (District 12) « Reply #7 on Apr 4, 2012, 9:40am » | |
bump
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Joined: May 2011 Gender: Female  Posts: 3,194 Karma: 75 |  | Re: Zoe Dust (District 12) « Reply #8 on Apr 4, 2012, 4:15pm » | |
ACCEPTED!
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zony11530 Seam Resident
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Joined: Mar 2012 Gender: Female  Posts: 12 Karma: 0 |  | Re: Zoe Dust (District 12) « Reply #9 on Apr 4, 2012, 5:08pm » | |
YAY Thanks
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