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Joined: Dec 2011 Gender: Female  Posts: 319 Location: You wish :3 Karma: 2 |  | Adrian District 5 (Done!) « Thread Started on Dec 11, 2011, 9:17pm » | |
Name: Adrian Jollor Age: 17 Gender: Male District/Area: District 5 Appearance: Has jet black hair that is shaggy, and covers most of his ear. He has kind of thick eyebrows and thin eyelashes. His pale green eyes have often dazzled damsels. He has a bright smile and clever lips. Adrian's face is always cheerful... Well most of the time. When he gets sad, his eyes darken to a dark green that looks like the forest on a moon-lit night. Also, his hair seems to sag even more than usual.
Adrian has an ok muscular build, and has strong muscles, but they usually aren't very seeable. His skin is usually covered in black dirt or bits of oil. He doesn't like to have his shirt off often because an ugly scar from a fight, which sits on his back like a heavy weight. It’s in the shape of a heart. Adrian has muscular legs and they are too mostly covered in dirt. Personality: Adrian has a nice personality around his friends. He is nice, outgoing, maybe a little too prideful, and likes to have a good time. He also likes playing sports and exercising. One of his flaws is that he has is that he has double personalities. He calls his other personality Daren, and he is darker than Adrian.
Daren is... evil if you will. He is constantly reckless and is always trying to convince Adrian to do things that might end up in him getting caught by the peacekeepers. He just wants to have a good time and get a laugh. He loves doing pranks and is very adventurous. He yearns to break rules and go where others won't. Daren is also a player and very prideful.
Adrian usually listens to Daren when he’s around his friends. He’s actually quite shy, but he controls the body. He also likes being adventurous, and that’s about the only thing he and Daren have in common. He sometimes wishes he didn’t have so many friends, or the girls look at him like they do. He wishes he could learn about the world, go to the library but he is slightly afraid of Daren and Daren knows it. He’s afraid Daren will one day control his entire body.... Adrian seems like a spineless coward compared to Daren. He doesn't like to steal, or do things others won't like climbing up the church to the roof, or sneaking out of the district. Adrian doesn't like to break hearts, or be mean. He isn't very talkative and would rather be exploring or working than hanging out with friends.
Adrian likes Daren because they have been together forever. They are like two twin brothers that fight, but always seem to find peace. When Adrian gets especially depressed Daren always find a soft spot and keeps him going. Whenever Adrian thinks of trying to somehow get rid of Daren he remembers why he stays with him. History: Adrian grew up in a not rich but not poor family. He is a middle child, and nobody seems to notice him. Adrian was 5 when Daren first appeared. It was his first day of school, a couple of older boys confronted him afterschool. They pushed him around a bit and told him he was weird and stupid. Adrian tried to run away but slipped over a shrub and the boys dragged him into an alley. They started beating him with sticks and laughing. When they left him bruises covered his body. Adrian wondered what he did to deserve this and probably thought it was because of his family’s reputation, though he was too young to fully understand this. He felt so alone, and the only thing that brought him out of the alley was Daren. Nobody had noticed he had gone, and when he got home he silently put bandages on his bruises and scars. When he was 7 he started to notice Daren more. When he asked his mother she had no idea what he was talking about and told him not to talk about things people didn't understand or they would put him in a "mental institute" as she called it. Adrian didn't know what that meant, but he did know he didn't want to go there. He stayed quiet, but once he did ask Daren what he was. Daren simply replied: "I'm apart of you." Adrian went along with this, since it was all that he had.
Adrian grew up exploring and playing with the other boys. He was respected because of his looks, and his wits. Daren would laugh in his head, saying he was the looks and Adrian was the wits. This was true though, because Daren was much a flirt, and Adrian actually paid attention in school. But when Adrian went home each day he was sad. He hated his personality quirk, but Daren took offence to this. Adrian liked Daren but Daren always hurt people. He hated what he let Daren do to girls. But Daren had a strong grip on Adrian, and always told him if he didn't follow his moves and orders he would control his own body. Once, Daren and Adrian had a huge fight. They kept controlling different parts of his body and Daren controlled his arms. This ended with a huge heart shaped scar on his back, which he desperately tried to hide from everyone.
Adrian had a few hardships as he grew up. He went into a depression when Daren and he had a mental fight in school and he fell out of his chair and any onlooker would think he was having a seizure. After that they forgave each other and Daren tried not to be so cruel. The fighting actually seemed to bring them together but Adrian started getting depressing thoughts as his 12th birthday approached along with the reapings. He wondered if he could just let go, and let Daren control himself. Let go, just sit and watch, just give up. Daren was secretly putting these thoughts in his head, and they have been progressing since his reapings. At his age now, he is very close to letting go. Codeword: Odair Comments/Other:
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Joined: Jul 2009 Posts: 1,647 Location: Second Star to the Right Karma: 62 |  | Re: Adrian District 5 « Reply #1 on Dec 12, 2011, 6:58pm » | |
[justify]Hiya Kyalee! Welcome to the site! 
Your bio is looking very good so far, but there are a few things that I would like you to change before I accept him. First, if you could please check over spelling and grammar? There are a few mistakes that are a bit distracting.
Also, could you expand a bit on his early history before he discovered Darren? Most people who have split personalities have a reasoning behind it- a hard childhood, extreme stress, or something of the sort. As far as I know, it is not something that just randomly happens.
Finally, there is one thing I don't quite understand- if Darren is such a horrible person, why does Adrian like him? Could you just expand a bit on the relationship between the two?
Other than that, he seems like a very interesting character! Just make these few changes and then post, and I'd be very happy to look him over again![/justify]
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Kyalee Tribute
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Joined: Dec 2011 Gender: Female  Posts: 319 Location: You wish :3 Karma: 2 |  | Re: Adrian District 5 « Reply #2 on Dec 12, 2011, 7:20pm » | |
Ok i think its done. Thanks for the suggestions!
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Stare RP Tutor
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Joined: Jul 2009 Posts: 1,647 Location: Second Star to the Right Karma: 62 |  | Re: Adrian District 5 (Done!) « Reply #3 on Dec 17, 2011, 2:39pm » | |
accepted!
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v also made by the lovely and amazing South<3
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