Season: Month: Weather: 62nd HG Champion: Peridot Myler, District One
63rd Finale in Progress
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The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins.
This website created by Lulu Site skins, graphics by Lulu and Aya Posts and characters belong to their respective owners.
Welcome to my bio. Describing my face... Kay, top down, I have thin, black eyebrows over big eyes that seem to be slightly too wide. Whatever. When I was born my eyes were a hazel-y grey-green color, but that's really gross so I manage to obtain contacts in several shades of green and blue. Train gaurds will do anything for leggy 16-year-old girls if ya know what I mean. Lower down, I have a small, button nose, I think it's quite cute actually, so don't argue. I also have a wide mouth that's usually set in a smirk, all white teeth and red lips. All on a pale, heart-shaped face, yep, me.
Kay. Onto my beautiful body. I have straight, silky black hair with neon-pink and -blue highlights that I managed to dye for my birthday wonderfully, it hangs down almost all the way to my waist. I always wear it down, mostly to hide the long, dark, jagged scar decorating my pale back from when I fell out of a window. Long story. I'm very very tall, 5'11"-ish, with long legs. I have a pretty big chest, and although i don't have big hips, my walk makes them look bigger. That's it, onto personality you weirdos! Mush!
Personality:
"I didn't bring you here to talk." -Li-Li O'Brien
Ahh... I appear hostile if you meet me on the street. When I'm at a party though I'm seductive and passionate. With my family I appear to be bored most of the time, unless having a heartfelt big-sister moment with my baby Vivian; I call her my baby but she's actually 12. Which doesn't happen often, but more now that she could be sent off to the hunger games. Because of my first boyfriend Dane, and what his sister being a tribute did to him I'm deathly afraid of that happening.
Negatives. Forgive me if I ramble. (I actually don't give a damn if you forgive me, keep reading.) I'm concieted because of the fact that I am egomaniacal and narcissistic. It's all about me! Also, I find myself terrified of commitment, after the death of my first and only real love. I also have abbandonment issues and find myself suddenly and unexpectedly zoning out into a daydream or memory at random times, which is because I'm epileptic, though my mother covers it well.
The plusses of my personality... So few. A'ight, well if somebody manages to earn my friendship I'm loyal. I would die for or with my friends, as few as they are. Uh... My emotions rule my life, if I'm angry I start a fight, if I'm sad I cry if I'm lonely I flirt. I'm actually very flirty, I see a cute boy, I go for it. I fall in and out of love, my romances are many, varied, and passionate.
History:
"The only way my past and my future are the same is that they're both HELL" -Li-Li O'Brien
My childhood... I was born the only child of two nauseatingly cheerful people. They soon learned that I just don't care what anyone else thinks. I was causing trouble by age 5. I had a baby brother and sister by age 4 (Kaleb and Vivian, twins.) . And by age 8 I had been taken to a therapist and diagnosed as Egomanical and Narcissistic. HA.
My early "tweenage years"... The focus of these years is a beautiful boy named Dane Austin who I met when I was 11. He was one of the only people who's opinion I ever cared about. He was insulting in a playful way and obbsessed with all things cryptic. He hated the capitol, not surprising as his older sister had been a tribute. Dane was my first love.
When I was 12, me and Dane met my friend Stephy. Stephy is wonderful, though I've lost touch with her over the last few years. This is because of Dane. He died a year ago. A peacekeeper shot him. I became completely distant after his death and now spend my life partying and sleeping with random guys who don't even come close to comparing with Dane. I'm still looking for a cause that's worthwhile.
Codeword: <img src= Comments/Other:
THE CHANGES.
Yeah. After this happened, I FINALLY got over him. I met someone new, and really started being happy again.
And then he left, after getting me pregnant. I have no idea what happened to him.
Now, I have three kids. Daisy, Wisteria, and Violet. My friends, Luna and Ray, are the god-mother and -father. I'm deathly afraid of going in the games even more now, because I would be leaving the kids, my girls, alone. My family no longer supports me, so I work whenever I'm not in school. My narcissism? Overuled by how much my girls mean to me. They are my world.
Re: Li-Li O'Brien, District 4 « Reply #1 on Apr 7, 2011, 12:20am »
Hey Alex!
1) Could you please change the Appearance and Personality sections so that they're not part of a writing sample? 2) Could you please remove the colors or change them in your app? We're all for decorating, but a variety of random colors aren't easy to read.
Re: Li-Li O'Brien, District 4 « Reply #2 on Apr 7, 2011, 3:37pm »
Ummmm... I always do writing examples... it wasn't a problem with my other character! And i'm sorry about the colors, they just reflect Li-Li's hectic personality.
Charade: Everything is Dempseys and everything hurts
just Dee it District Mayor [M:-1800] member is offline
I go "Grawr!" =)
Joined: Jul 2010 Posts: 847 Karma: 53
Re: Li-Li O'Brien, District 4 « Reply #3 on Apr 10, 2011, 4:44pm »
While I understand that you're using the colors to reflect, it makes your app difficult to read. Doing it by paragraphs is fine but by sentence, it creates a headache.
Oh! Hi, I'm Dee. I'm going to look at your app today. =)
Appearance:
Quote:
My neon-pink and -blue highlights
Why would she have highlights and how? While highlights are technically simple to get, most residents of districts would not have them. So unless you can justify them (the moment they are mentioned), I'm going to have to ask you to remove them.
Quote:
lime green today,
Today....today? How is that possible? I mean, if it looks lime green, I'm fine with that, but they can't spontaneously change color!
I'm going to need more description on her appearance. Your idea is fine, but it also leaves a lot of room for omitted details and frankly, I prefer those details than these writing samples.
Personality: Your personality section would be really great...if I actually learned anything about her personality. You do a great portrayal, but I just want to know what her characteristics are like; I don't need to see them in play.
History: Your history section is actually pretty good. And by pretty good, I mean it could still do with development, but it's readable and you have the points necessary.
Once you've fixed up the app, just respond so a staff member can look at her again. If you have any questions/comments, feel free to PM or respond to this thread.
Charade: Everything is Dempseys and everything hurts
just Dee it District Mayor [M:-1800] member is offline
I go "Grawr!" =)
Joined: Jul 2010 Posts: 847 Karma: 53
Re: Li-Li O'Brien, District 4 FINISHED « Reply #5 on Apr 18, 2011, 4:42pm »
Better job at not making it a narrative. Now I'm able to discern what is happening within each section. However, there is an excessive use of "()". While I understand you want us to see what she thinks about her characteristics, it is not necessary that they be in parenthesis. This only makes it difficult to read and appear as if there is a bunch of unnecessary words/phrases/descriptions. Since you are writing in first person, you can take out the parentheses.
Appearance:
Quote:
with neon-pink and -blue highlights
-coughs- Did you not read my comment on highlights the first time? And also, because sneaking is quite difficult with the districts, getting highlights redone at her frequency would be highly unlikely.
Personality:
Quote:
My personality as it appears to random people.
I don't really see what the point of this sentence is...omit.
Quote:
At a party though
Fragment. Are you trying to connect it to the previous point or the point after this?
Aaaaand that's it! Just fix up, respond, and another look!
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it wasn't a problem with my other character! And i'm sorry about the colors, they just reflect Li-Li's hectic personality.
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